Search Results for 'Joe Duffy'

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Mixed reactions to new modesty dress code at Knock

The imposition of a modesty dress code at Knock Shrine since last week has drawn mixed reactions from pilgrims.

When people power meets petrol power

Have ya ever seen the Government move as fast on anything as they did on the head shops. All it took were a few phone calls to Joe Duffy and you didn’t even have to be from Clontarrrrrrrrrrrfff Joe and hey presto, they’re introducing legislation that came into force, not tomorrow, but yesterday. That’s the type of Government ya need. Introducing laws so fast that they’re in force by the time you get to hear about them. All around the country on Tuesday morning, poor Hans and Jurgen and Johann with the funny hair who ran the head shops had to draw up “Closed Til Further Notice” notices so much on the hop they had been caught by our ultra quick fast reacting Government. Mary Harney, a woman who wouldn’t be in the FloJo league when it comes to turn of speed, had the laws in by the time that Hans and Johann and Jurgen had gone to bed, and by the time the dawn broke over the headshops and they looked through the hazy scene that was their lovenest, they were no more. And if Hans and Jurgen and Johann thought they were going to just shut up shop for a few days to give them time to change the name of the legal high to Ohjaysisthisisgreatdylhide, fast Mary had out-thought them on that too. She had the clear head, ya see. She wasn’t smokin’ any of that auld foreign shite. When she’s overseas, she doesn’t go into the brown cafes. No, she goes to the hairdressers and probably the nice muffin shop next door. She wrote into the law that any drugs that have their names changed and that the guards think are a bit funny can be deemed illegal as well, so now go away and put that in your pipe and smoke it, she told them, smug as anything. She might be leaving Granny for 72 hours on a shopping trolley in Casualty our Mary, but she put it to those foreigners with their head shops

Classic parody with Apres Match

With a World Cup just around the corner, the timing could not be better for every discerning Irish sports fan’s favourite comedy triumvirate to bring their new show to the Kilkenny stage.

Local Fine Gael ‘shocked’ by curious George’s departure

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TS Eliot’s memorable conclusion to his great poem The Hollow Men predicts the world will end “not with a bang but a whimper” but it is also a line which sums up the political career of George Lee.

Countours Express raises over €10,000 for breast cancer research

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The ladies from Contours Express Ladies Fitness and Weight Loss Club raised a tremendous sum of €10,052 for Breast Cancer Research, having completed their third Flora Mini Marathon this year. “We were delighted to have over 60 members taking part and wearing the NBCRI t-shirt. Contours Express, Mullingar has raised approximately €30,000 over three years,” says Mags Reddington.

Youth fails to tell parents of court appearance

A youth who has just finished his Leaving Certificate admitted to Judge John Neilan that his parents didn’t know he was in court facing public order charges.

Novel postcard exhibition has come home to Mullingar

A novel postcard exhibition by An Post is currently running in Mullingar.

 

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